Thursday, January 28, 2010

Story 1

Two people were killed, and 20 others were injured after a devastating automobile accident along Interstate 790 in Cottage Grove this morning, police reported. Fire Chief Tony Sullivan stated that among the persons injured, four had life threatening injuries, including two who needed to be airlifted by Cottage Grove’s Life Flight helicopter to a trauma center in Statesville. Sullivan stated that when he arrived on the scene it resembled a war zone, with bodies laying all over the road, people covered in blood sitting next to their cars, emergency workers running from place to place trying to help the injured, and sirens wailing in the distance as more fire trucks and ambulances were hurrying to the scene. Sullivan went on to say that it was the worst thing he ever saw in his 18 years of experience with the fire department. Police believe the accident began when two tractor-trailers collided in the northbound lanes of the highway at 6:45 a.m., causing a chain reaction of other automobiles colliding. A total of four tractor- trailers and 14 cars were involved in the crash, according to Sgt. Albert Wei of the Cottage Grove police department. Firefighters had to cut the roofs off three of the cars to free the drivers and passengers that were inside. No major damage was done to the tractor-trailers involved, including one tanker hauling diesel fuel which managed to remain upright to prevent dumping the fuel and possibly catching fire, which would have further disrupted an already chaotic scene. Interstate 790 was shut down entirely after the crash and remained that way at 10 a.m. Wei said he had no idea how long it would stay that way. The usual Interstate 790 traffic was diverted to Interstate 690, on the eastern side of the city, backing up traffic for three hours.

6 comments:

  1. The lead is well done I believe, it is very simple but still contains all the information needed to be a successful lead.

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  2. I agree with Kyle, I thought the lead was well done and got to the point. The only thing I would fix if I were you, is the few places that the words got spaced out awkwardly.

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  3. Thanks guys. I don't know what happened to the spacing. I copy and pasted from a word document and it showed up that way. I corrected it all before I submitted the post but apparently It didn't save that way. Oops.

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  4. The spacing is probably just a formatting difference between Word and Blogger. I agree, the lead is well done. You were thorough with your information, too, while keeping it to the point and informational.

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  5. Reading this post has really made me consider a few things I need to do differently with my story. I think you did very well at re-writing this story, and the lead is great. As mentioned before, I think you might want to edit the formatting for your story after you transfer it in your blog.

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  6. This post made me feel horrible for all the people involved! I have read a few other posts that said the same thing and for some reason your lead caught me right away.

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